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July 18, 2006
The Africana A-List: 07.25.03
This article appeared on Africana.com on July 25, 2006.
The A-List is a compendium of the most important things African America discussed this week. This week on the A-List: Kobe, James Davis, Liberia and "the Negro Problem."
Compiled by Africana Staff
[ebog note: Why is EBOG reposting old articles?]
1. Poor Little Rich Negroes
During numerous recent conversations about Kobe Bryant, the A-List has been accused of being a player-hater. Usually black folk scramble like startled chickens when tagged with the PH stick, but to us it's pure magic -- the sound of someone swinging "player-hater" at us makes us want to sing, "true, true, true!" Don't get us wrong: the A-List is not only for the children, it also gets all swole up with pride at the sight of genuine black achievement. What bothers us is not black success, but the false pomposity that attends those forms of black enterprise where individuals (invariably men) become fabulously rich for little more than entertaining white people, dancing, throwing a ball, or, in the case of Bob Johnson, skillfully sucking at the pink teat of Federal and municipal minority set-asides. Jazz critic and provocateur Stanley Crouch likes to call black people "Negroes," but we have always hated the term, not because we view it as painfully anachronistic, but because no word better encapsulates for us the sort of contemporary hypocrisy that allows us to turn an adulterous 24-year-old into a potential fallen hero.
The true Negroes of America aren't the brave people time-traveling out of archival footage from the tumultuous fifties, they're the rich and the famous black men of America's corporate-entertainment complex, huffing and puffing about role models, glass ceilings and racist cabbies while chasing the minimum wage earning coat-check girl (black or white) around her 15-square-foot place of employ. The central pair at the core of the Kobe affair isn't just a black man and a white woman, but also a classic Negro -- male, rich, pompous -- and the (relatively) poorer woman serving him.
Sound like somebody else's stereotype? Sure. And despite all the anger we feel about black men being stereotyped as sexually ravenous predators, you will find more cheats, adulterers, sex addicts and borderline polygamists at your average "Talented Tenth" networking event -- be it an NBA draft day party, music industry event or a conference of black MBA's -- than you will find in your average housing project. You know it, and we know it, so why act as though otherwise were true when among friends? Like a figure walking around a globe who starts in one direction and comes back to his beginnings from the other, the behaviors middle class black folks pathologize in poor people -- promiscuity, sex out of wedlock, adultery, serial abortion -- are a basic privilege of the rich. When exposed, these privileges become "lapses" that are apologized/whitewashed away by either lawyers or doctors and sometimes both. The great irony of course is that cheating on your wife wasn't invented by black men. Kennedy claimed he got a headache if he didn't get a piece of "strange ass" every other day, while the troubles of our first White Negro president have been well documented. Watching Kobe cry, though while his diamonds shimmered as brightly as his tears, and his model-pretty lite-bright wife soldiered on, her eyes on the financial prize at their marriage's horizon, we couldn't help but think: like every previously all white sport we've taken over, we've truly redefined the game.
Go team!
2. Brooklyn Do and Die and Do
The A-List has an affinity for most all things Kings County, so the death of Brooklyn Councilman James E. Davis was a blow. Davis' mama's house is just two streets up from one of our mama's houses in Crown Heights, so we'd spoken to him on the block a coupla times over the years -- and yes, we had voted for him a few times more. Before his death on Wednesday, we would have recalled Davis as Brooklyn's last living old school politician, the retail type who attended every community event, involved himself in every civic organization, kissed every baby and shook every hand. His omnipresence was precisely why we were so startled to see his photograph in the news, his face frozen in time as images of the dead so inevitably are. That same face had looked back at us for nearly a decade, plastered on stickers for Davis' Love Yourself - Stop the Violence organization, stickers that were in turn plastered on countless lampposts and tenant association bulletin boards in Crown Heights, Clinton Hill, Fort Greene and Bedford-Stuyvesant. We would be lying if we said we hadn't shaken our head once or twice at their ubiquity, but when it came time for voting we went with the man we had seen out on streets. Davis like any human being was imperfect (he recently came to Robert Mugabe's defense) but he was also clearly about doing something -- not just talking.
When two kids were shot by cops who mistook their toy guns for real weapons, Davis worked to end the sale of look-alike guns in toy stores, setting up his press conference in front of Toys' R' Us and getting Geoffrey to change his lucrative ways. That kind of engagement was Davis' hallmark and it was the consistent thread of his short life. Before he fought for his community's interests in City Hall he was a 20-year-old from the streets of Brooklyn who one day found himself accused of stealing his own mother's car. The two white cops who had set upon him with guns drawn ignored his mother's protests and proceeded to beat and arrest him. Davis' response? Join the police force, not as a bruiser eager to join the winning team, but as an activist eager to change the system from within. There is little irony in the fact that issues of gun-violence were his primary concern as both a police and legislator, less so in that Davis was shot and killed by a man whom he had escorted past City Hall security himself. There is as much cause for pride as there is for sadness, though. In the Bedford-Stuy from which James hailed, the basic life options of young black men are famously reduced to two: Do or die. Don't let the circumstances of his death obscure the fact that from beginning to end, James Davis did.
3. Are you there, God? It's me Pat
Despite half-assed backpedaling in which he insisted he was only praying that Supreme Court Justices Ruth Bader Ginsberg, John Paul Stevens and Sandra O'Connor retire from the court soon, religious nut Pat Robertson this week came off as the political assassin he not-so-secretly is. Did he really say that his supporters should join him in praying for the deaths of Stevens, Ginsberg and O'Connor? You be the judge. His Christian Broadcasting Network website contains the following quote: "One justice is 83 years old, another has cancer and another has a heart condition. Would it not be possible for God to put it in the minds of these three judges that the time has come to retire?" Yeah, that's what cancer causes-retirement! When pressed by CNN's soft-focus media assassin Paula Zahn, Robertson defended his prayer circle of death by saying that "the American people" simply "want conservative judges." Last we checked, our passports said we were Americans, but we guess Pat didn't include us in his monthly poll of "People God should kill off." Oh well, maybe next month!
Meanwhile, we have decided to take Pat's advice regarding his prayer habits: "If some of these folks don't like what I'm praying for and want to pray the other way," Pat explained, "have at it. Let the Lord decide." Bet, Pat! Bring it on! As an aid to all you liberal heathens out there, the A-List has created a handy, internet prayer circle inviting everyone who cares to to please pray for "Pat R.'s" retirement. Just click on the link, leave your comments, get down on bended knee and remember: we're all God's children, so if someone is going to be sent to Hell, it might as well be them.
4. Sleeping Across the Room from the Enemy
First off, the A-List would like to say our thoughts are with the family of Baylor basketball player Patrick Dennehy during this time of extreme need. And since this is America (innocent until proven guilty, for all you Kobe haters), the A-List would, secondly, like to tell the Dotson family to be strong during this nightmarish ordeal. Thirdly, the A-List would also like to take this opportunity to fight the good fight and say: down with the death penalty! Why? Because after Patrick Dennehy disappeared from Texas last week, Carlton Dotson, Dennehy's college roommate and accused killer pulled a disappearing act of his own, falling off the radar before surfacing in Chestertown, Maryland where he finally called 911 for some police assistance on Sunday. The local gendarmerie and the FBI promptly charged him with Dennehy's murder, a terrible crime in Maryland, but not quite as terrible as it is in the hang-'em-high, burn-'n'-fry Lone Death Star State.
If you think the only reason a guy travels from Texas to Maryland after his best friend disappears is that he's guilty, think again. Unlike rape, where you can't "accidentally" force someone to have sex with you, you can, as Jason Willams discovered, accidentally shoot someone pretty dead. The A-List is no Solomon, but we would have a hard time executing a man for an accident, issues judges and juries in Texas got over about 200 corpses ago. The local carpenter who let the pair shoot guns on his property said they were obviously inexperienced and "visibly shaken" from just target shooting, making an accident that much more possible. The A-List isn't saying that getting rid of the death penalty would have made Dotson feel safe enough to stick around and explain himself, but it would definitely stop us all from knowing that one senseless death will only lead to another.
5. Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth-Later
We probably won't agree to cheese for a photo-op, but you'll never, ever, find the A-List complaining when Republicans -- in this case Sen. George Allen (R-VA) and Rep. J. Randy Forbes (R-VA) -- feel called upon to challenge their ideological soul mates in the Bush White House. The rift between right-wing rank and file comes because Allen and Forbes want to provide computers and technology upgrades to historically black colleges and universities. Critics charge that the men have ulterior motives having to do with Virginia elections and the need to endear themselves to black voters, to which the A-List says: "Hey, just don't knock yourselves out loving me, baby! (Just be gentle...)"
Forbes and Allen's push -- whether designed to bridge the "digital divide," or the "black-people-voting-Democratic divide" -- passed the House last week but is now pissing off a slew of conservatives. (We're not so naive to think this represents any real change. Republican policy is never to increase black republican votes but to depress black voting in general by using good deeds to make folk less outraged at the mere sight of Republicans.) The Bushies claim to oppose the plan because it would raise "constitutional concerns," what with the way an HBCU explicitly targets race and not class, as if Yalie Bush, BAP Condi, and middle class immigrant Colin want anywhere near a real debate on class. Bush et al, have obviously never tried waiting in line for a terminal in a computer lab during exam week at any HBCU in America, as the experience would illustrate for them all possible configurations of race vs. class deprivation to be hand in the so-called land good and plenty.
6. Will and Jada Return to their Sitcom Roots, While Eve Shows Roots
Ah, television. The A-List can vividly recall the knee-slapping antics of Will Smith on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and how we cried after the last episode was aired. Like the A-List, Will has gone on to bigger things, releasing multi-platinum albums and starring in huge blockbuster movies, so this week's announcement that the megastar is returning to his humble roots on television made us feel all the more pleasant and homey like. The UPN series, All of Us, is the brainchild of Will and wife Jada (who also got her start on the small-screen), and will be loosely based on the couple's domestic life -- only without the millions.
Also coming this fall on UPN is a series from platinum-selling, hip-hop artist Eve, who, unlike Will, has no television experience. (From the looks of photographs that were released last week of a pre-fame, stripper-era Eve, she does have plenty of other, er, core competencies.) The sitcom called -- what else? Eve -- will follow a young woman who is trying to find love in today's fast-paced, hectic world. Okay, that's not very original, but the A-List is willing to give her a break since it's her first time out and she did pretty well in Barbershop. Just keep your clothes on this time, girl!
7. James Brown Gets Goofy
What do James Brown and Goofy have in common? They're both ridiculously lovable (to the A-List, at least!) and they're actually about the same age. Moreover we can learn from both of them what "not" to do. Goofy's misadventures offer opportunity after opportunity to marvel at deep questions of moral choice, personal responsibility and "cause-and-effect", while Brown periodically engages in bizarre personal behavior that suggests the "hardest working man in show business" has a little too much time on his hands during his twilight years. We'd like to think the Godfather of Soul was just joking around with his plastic when he took out a full page ad in Variety to announce his separation from his third wife, Tomi Rae. The accompanying picture was of the couple and their two year old son happily posed beside Disney's very own Goofy, the Disney moment intended to highlight the "good times." Now we would never presume to tell anyone, especially the Godfather of Soul how to run a romance, but if Goofy is the high point of your relationship, it's no surprise that the third time wasn't the charm.
8. Liberia Marks its 156th Independence
The proud founding fathers of Liberia must be rolling in their graves right now. On Saturday, the country marks (celebration is impossible) an Independence Day that makes it second only Haiti in the ranks of independent black nations. Much like Haiti, Liberia doesn't have much to show for its elder nation status except for news clips of senseless murders, random mayhem and the overarching lunacy of civil war. In a severely under-reported development, a delegation of African American dignitaries ranging from Cornel West, to Al Sharpton, to high-ranking members of the Nation of Islam are in nearby Ghana trying to mediate between all opposing sides. Godspeed and good luck.
[Africana has launched a campaign for greater US involvement in Liberia. To participate, just follow the links in the Action Alert below. If you'd like to put an Action Alert up on your own website or page, just cut and paste the code located here. ]
9. White House Lie Scandal Gathers Steam, Victims, Historical Metaphors
Meanwhile, back at the illegally occupied headquarters of our fictitious, unelected executive branch -- thanks, Michael Moore, for putting it all into such clear context for us! -- the anxiety is rising as blame spreads for Bush's infamous "uranium from Africa" statement during his State of the Union address. (Bush is gonna be mumbling "Africa, Africa, Africa" under his breath before this is over.) The latest news is that despite all those knives in his back (courtesy of that fun couple Condi and Rummy) CIA chief George Tenet actually did warn the White House, on more than one occasion, that the "Africa" line was a lie. Problem was, the aide in charge of delivering the warning just plum forgot about it. Memory lapses? Lies about issues of grave international importance? Rogue governments? And we thought the Reagan years were over!
10. That's it for this week's A-List
If you like what you read here, forward it. If you think the A-List is a hater, forward it to all your friends and tell them to complain. If you want more A-List, come back to www.African.com, same A-List time (Friday), same A-List channel! If you want the A-List stopped, come back to Africana, same A-List time (Friday), same A-List channel so that you can collect more information for your anti-A-List prayer circle. No matter what you do, just keep coming back and forwarding those links! Not everyone can pay for this content in dollars, but they can offer the three minutes it takes to prepare and email and hit "Send."
About the Author
The A-List is half playa-hater, half playa-prayer -- sixteen persons in one column. [Kate Tuttle, Ken Gibbs, Zakia Carter, and Tanu Henry contributed items to this column.]
Posted by ebogjonson in garchival, on July 18, 2006 11:24 PM
Comments
Dude. I got a few in.
OH!
I found the lost NABJ column... the unedited version... w/ strippers! I'm going to edit it and put it up! Giddy-up!
Posted by: jimi at July 20, 2006 2:25 PM
it is very nice to be on this site pls.your effort is nice keep it moving.
Posted by: Bgsgiyos at December 14, 2006 10:13 AM

